Up to half a million will call in sick today – National Sickie Day
It has been estimated that up to 500,000 employees will call in sick today, as the first Monday of February has been dubbed National Sickie Day.
Whether it’s the ‘flu’ or a ‘stomach bug’, more workers traditionally pick this day to phone in sick than any other. Bosses have been criticised for making it too easy to pull a sickie though, by letting people text or email their excuse, rather than a personal phone call.
It is also thought that this flood of ‘sick employees’ could cost industry £50 million. Most companies aren’t fooled by mystery illnesses either and half the 1,500 bosses surveyed said they weren’t convinced by their workers’ excuses.
However, just sometimes, there really are some genuine, almost-entirely-valid reasons why a sickie must be pulled. Here are some dreamed up by City am
- That meeting
You can’t miss this really important meeting, but you’ll be forced to gauge your eyes out if you have to listen to any more irrelevant chatter and pretend to take notes. It’s a tough call.
- You work in customer service
And therefore you see the worst of humanity on a daily basis. You deserve a day off from that.
- You’re taking ‘rain/wind leave’
It’s unbelievable that there’s still no formal leave of absence for appalling weather. ‘Rain leave’ should be instated as a reasonable excuse for staying under the duvet because the prospect of leaving the house is too grim.
- You are half-sick
But not that ill – just a small headache or something. It could probably be cleared up with a painkiller, but why risk making yourself sicker?
- You are genuinely ill
Please, for the love of god, if you are spewing mucus, have a hacking cough or a shade of green, no one is going to thank you for being a brave little soldier who made it into the office. Stay. Away.
- You haven’t watched Making a Murderer yet
Everyone is talking about it and you need to find ten hours of solid watching time so you can join in the debate.
- And you haven’t watched all the other Netflix stuff
Next on the list, Narcos. Another ten hour minimum, which really requires a binge session to properly appreciate.
- Your weekend was rubbish
Ever had a crazy busy or complete fail of a weekend, and felt that you were owed that day off that you didn’t really get? Solution: sickie. Obviously.
- Adulthood is getting to be too much
Being an adult is so much WORK. It feels necessary sometimes to give your head a break and pretend like you have no responsibilities for the day.
- You have a lot of work to do
But it’s not work work, it’s those annoying little things like household chores and life admin and bills. It’s tedious and we kind of resent having to do that in our free time, right?
- Your friend who works weekends is free
Your schedules never, EVER line up. So sometimes, when you suddenly at the last minute need a spontaneous squad catch-up, drastic action needs to be taken.
- The traffic is going to be HELL
We know that we’re going to be incredibly late because of some unexpected jam or commuting nightmare, so can we not just save ourselves the trouble of running around in a sweat and just come in that wee bit earlier the next day? Please?
- The top boss is out of the office
Everyone knows that the slackers among us work at half speed when the big cheese is away. What’s even the point?
- Somebody made another compilation video of dogs leaping in the snow
And we need a few joyful hours of watching this on repeat.
- You’re female and it’s that time
99% of the time, we are able to suck it up and battle on with a Mount Doom level of inner strength that was summoned out of nowhere.
But sometimes…occasionally… we need a day when we can admit that it is the worst thing ever and if we have to spend a whole office day pretend-smiling through it we might collapse.
- Your neighbours are the worst
Once again, you were woken up by slamming doors/children/bass-y music and the bags under your eyes reach your knees. If you’re too tired to be productive, that warrants a day off, yeah?